Limiting Word Series 2: “Why Me?”


Sometimes when you look at what others have and you start envying, thinking “how lucky or fortunate they are!“. You wanted the good things in life, or at least be fair. You thought that people who work hard should deserve a good pay check or a good, blessed life. You see yourself as the good person but somehow, that doesn’t seem to reflect the same in your life.

Does that sound familiar?

If it does, you are not alone. Because I have been there.

Like you, there are many people who have also been through that phase. When the unforeseen circumstances creeped into our lives and we felt that the world isn’t fair; when we were more hardworking and responsible than our peers at work but the one that got laid off; when we spend so much time in improving ourselves but it’s the other that got into the boss’ good books that got promoted. Then you start asking yourself:

“Why me?!”

The World is Never Fair

We just got to accept this fact in order to move on.

Because the things that are given to every individual can never be the same. I understand sometimes we wish we were in the other person’s shoes. Well, because that seem like the better way out.

As of all good things, it always seem better on the outside.

We wish we could be the one that own that big house and sports car. But we may not know the struggles of how he/she came about, or even still struggling to please everyone that gave him/her that opportunity until the very last days.

We wish we could be that doctor that saves lives and earns big bucks, but we may not understand how many deaths he/she has to face or how much time he/she has to sacrifice.

We wish to be the one that always gets the attention, gets the girl/guy, but we may not know how unhappy he/she is internally.

We will never know. But that may not be what they signed up for as well. [Read: What Are You Hearing Yourself Say?]

The Mysterious Case of Matching Your Expectations

We all have an expectation that requires meeting in order to feel satisfied, at the very least. However, having an expectation does not necessarily mean we will be able to get it and that’s what makes people unhappy or frustrated.

When we probe the question of “why me?“, we inevitably start the whole downward spiral trend of seeking answers to validate our position, which includes our original expectation.

We then land ourselves in a situation of lacking control and playing the victim of the story. I am not saying you do not deserve better. But the universe surely has its own way of telling us which is better, even though we may not entirely agree and it has always been the same since the ancient times. [ReadAncient Wisdom: Still as True Today, and More so in the Future

Ask This Instead…

Rather than spending time and effort in playing the victim, ask yourself more empowering questions:

What have I overlooked that lands me in this situation and how can I improve the next time?

How can this situation serve me better?

Who can give me a neutral view of what I can do next?

Looking at someone who can provide a neutral point of view, without letting yourself do into a downward spiral emotional shit-storm can be the most helpful way out.

Of course the initial period is never easy, and we are not so rational to start thinking about all these empowering questions without having a mental meltdown at least for the first few moments. If you have to let yourself vent out the frustration, cry your heart out, by all means.

But don’t keep it there. Move forward. Go on-top.

Because there are many things that are not within our control and the perception of fairness in life, happens to be one of them.

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